Ini Blog Hairan!! bukan Blog Raihan...


Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Hairan!! dahsyatnya Al-quran


Ada seorang doktor beragama Islam bekerja di sebuah hospital di Negara Barat. Namun doktor Muslim ini amat disenangi dan dihormati kerana mempunyai ilmu pengetahuan yang tinggi. Biarpun kesemua pakar di hospital berkenaan dari kalangan bukan Islam.

Doktor muslim ini berkawan baik dengan seorang doktor beragama Kristian. Biarpun berlainan agama, namun mereka tiada masalah bekerjasama dalam usaha merawat pesakit.

Suatu hari, dua orang wanita melahirkan bayi mereka pada waktu yang sama di hospital tempat doktor Krisrtian itu bertugas. Si ibu pertama melahirkan bayi lelaki dan ibu kedua mendapat bayi perempuan.

Masaalahnya, akibat kecuaian seorang jururawat, kedua-dua bayi tersebut telah bertukar. Peristiwa itu menimbulkan kebingungan para doktor berkenaan. Bagaimana mereka hendak mengenalpasti yang mana satukah ibu kepada kedua-dua bayi tersebut?

Doktor beragama Krristian tersebut tadi teringat kepada teman baiknya si doktor Muslim. Lantas beliau bertanya kepada temannya. “Dulu engkau pernah mengatakan bahawa Al Quran itu ada jawapan kepada segala persoalan dan mampu menjelaskan segala sesuatu kemusykilan. Oleh itu, cuba engkau tunjukkan kepadaku cara untuk mengetahui yang mana satukah ibu kepada kedua-dua bayi ini.”

Jawab doktor Muslim : “Benar. Al Quran telah menerangkan segala-galanya. Aku akan tunjukkan pada mu akan kebenarannya!”

Doktor Muslim pun meminta contoh air susu daripada kedua-dua ibu yang baru melahirkan itu. Tujuannya mahu menjalankan ujian terhadap kandungan air susu tersebut.

Setelah mendapat keputusan hasil ujian tersebut, doktor Muslim ini tanpa ragu memberitahu bahawa si ibu yang tinggi kandungan garam dan mineral dalam air susunya adalah ibu kepada bayi lelaki manakala kandungan mineral yang rendah bermakna wanita itu adalah ibu kepada bayi perempuan.

Doktor beragama Kristian itu kehairanan lalu bertanya: “Berdasarkan apakah engkau berjaya mendapat keputusan mengkagumkan ini ?”

“Allah telah mensyariatkan kepada kamu mengenai wasiat buat anak-anakmu di mana bahagian seorang anak lelaki adalah menyamai dua bahagian anak perempuan.” (Surah an-Nisa’. Ayat 11).

Lalu doktor Muslim membacakan sepotong Surah an-Nisa’ ayat 11, lantas menerangkan kepada rakannya itu. “Melalui ayat ini Allah menjelaskan bahawa satu bahagian lelaki adalah bersamaan dengan dua bahagian perempuan. Ini bermakna bahagian lelaki adalah dua kali ganda berbanding wanita.”

Perbandingan kadar garam dan mineral pada air susu kedua-dua ibu tersebut sudah jelas menunjukkan bahawa kandungan yang terdapat dalam air susu ibu bayi lelaki dua kali ganda banyaknya berbanding susu ibu bayi perempuan. Inilah yang membuktikan siapa ibu kepada bayi-bayi tersebut.”

Penjelasan itu membuatkan doktor Muslim beragama Kristian itu berasa amat kagum. Lantas, kerana sepotong ayat itulah, si doktor Kristian akhirnya memeluk Islam.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Hairan!school jokes

Why is a mathbook so sad?
Because it has so many problems!
Why did the music teacher need a ladder?
She needed to reach the high notes!!
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher?
She couldn't control his pupils!
Teacher: "Sophie, name me six things have milk in them?"
Sophie: "Cheese, chocolate, cream and three cows!!!"
A child comes home from his first day at school and her mother asks,"What did you learn today?"
The girl replies,"Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow!!"
pi shaped cake
What's a maths teacher's favourite dessert?
Why did the boy eating his homework?
Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake!!!
Why did the boy take a ladder to school?
Because he was at high school!
Tommy: "Would I get in trouble for something I haven't done?"
Teacher: "Of course not!"
Tommy: "Great! I haven't done my homework!!"
Tommy: "Would I get in trouble for something I haven't done?"
Teacher: "Of course not!"
Tommy: "Great! I haven't done my homework!!"
Teacher: "If you have 7 apples in one hand and 8 in the other, what do you have?"
Pupil: "Big hands, miss!"
What's the difference between school dinners and a pile of slugs?
School dinners are on plates!
Where do maths teachers buy their food?
From take-aways!
Teacher:"Sarah, spell blind pig" Sarah:"B.L.N.D.P.G"
Teacher:"What happened to the i's?
Sarah:"A blind pig wouldn't have any!"
What do young elfs learn at school?
The elf-a-bet!!
Why is a T.Rex like an explosion?
Because it's full of dino might!
What did the policeman have in his sandwich?
Traffic jam!
Why did the belt get arrested?
For holding up a pair of trousers [pants]!!
What is white and goes up?
A confused snowflake!
Why is basketball such a messy sport?
Because everyone always dribbles!
cartoon boxing lemon
How do you make a fruit punch?
Give it boxing lessons!
Why are chefs so mean?
Because they whip cream and batter fish!
Why couldn't the 12 year old get into the pirate movie?
Because it was aaaarrrrhhhh rated!
How many apples can you fit in an empty box?
One. because then it wouldn't be empty anymore!
Why did the musician put his trumpet in the freezer??
Because he wanted to play cool music!!!
What do you call an elephant in Antartica?
Why did the tomato blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
What goes ha ha ha bonk ha ha ha bonk??
Someone laughing their head off!
Why is a river so rich?
Because it has a bank!
What did the dentist say to the golfer?
You got a hole in one!
What do you find in an empty nose?
Finger prints!
cartoon balloon family
There were three balloons; a mummy balloon, a daddy balloon and a baby balloon.
The baby balloon has a bad dream and he goes to the mum and dads room and says, "Can I sleep in the middle of you two please?"
The mum and dad says, "OK, bounce in."
During the night, the baby balloon was a little bit squashed so he thought of an idea to make himself more room.
He quietly lets a bit of air out of mummy balloon and ties it back up.
But he was still squashed, so he lets a bit of air out of daddy balloon and ties it back up.
But he was still a bit squished so he let a bit of air out of himself and tied himself back up.
In the morning the daddy balloon shouted at him and said to the baby balloon...
"You let me down, you let your mummy down and, worst of all, you let yourself down!!!"
What do you call an eight sided cat?
An octopus!
Alan: Harry, I've lost my cat!
Harry: why dont you put some signs up?
Alan: Don't be silly, my cat can't read!!!!
Where are facts made?
In factories, of course!
What is the best thing to find in a pie?
Your teeth!!
What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
I think I'm coming down with something!
How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but only if the light bulb wants to change.
Why did the sword swallower get sent to prison?
He caughed and killed two people!
How do you start a teddy bear race?
Ready, teddy, go!!!
A girl went into a shop and asked if she could try on a dress in the window?
The manager said, "It may be better to use the changing room!!"
What did baby corn say to mummy corn?
"Where's popcorn?!"
What is a slug?
A snail with a housing problem!
What's sweet, cold, heavy, got lots of wheels and drives down the road with a stick poking out?
An articulated lolly!
What did the big telephone say to the little telephone?
You're too young to get engaged!
two sharp looking pencils cartoon
What did the pencil say to the other pencil?
"You're looking sharp!!"
What did one candle say to the other candle?
"Are you going out tonight?!!"
Whats the best way to keep the water from running?
Don't pay the water bill!!
What happens if your nose runs and your feet smell?
You're upside down!!
I used to work in a blanket factory...
but it folded!
What animal do you get when you cross a pig with a cactus?
A porkypine!
Why did the bike keep falling over?
It was just two tyred!
What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don't look now, I'm changing!!
If you were locked in a car and a brick was beside you how would you get out?
Unlock the door!!
Did you hear about the fight in the fish and chip shop?
Two fish got battered!!!
Why couldn't the tennis player make fire?
She'd lost all her matches!
How do you stop a cold from getting to your chest?
Tie a knot in your neck!!
What happend to the wooden car with wooden wheels and wooden engine?
It wooden go!
What happend to the wooden car with steel wheels and steel engine?
It steel wooden go!
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
A man went into a bank and asked if they could check his balance.
So they pushed him over!!
What does lightning wear under its clothes?
Did you hear about the foolish army karate champion?
First time he saluted, he nearly killed himself!
Three men were sitting in a boat.
The boat sunk, but only two men got their hair wet. Why?
Because the other man was bald!!
What type of flour do fairies use to make bread?
Elf-raising flour!
girl and boy lightbulb in love!
What did the girl light bulb say to the boy light bulb?
"I love you watts and watts!"
What has eight legs and three heads?
Two men on a horse!
There was a blue monkey and a red monkey.
The blue one said to the red one, "If we roll down the hill together, what do you think will happen?"
"I dont know, so lets try it and see what happens!", said the red monkey.
"Oh! We could always ask the purple monkey at the bottom of the hill!!!"
What do you call something with six arms, two heads, five eyes and only one leg?
There was a man called Stupid and a man called Nobody.
One day Stupid pushed Nobody out of the window and then called for an ambulance.
When it arrived, he told them that Nobody fell out of the window.
The ambulance driver replied, "Are you stupid?"
Stupid replied, "That's amazing!! How did you guess?!"
What did one volcano say to the other volcano?
I lava you!
eggsausted chicken
What do you call a chicken that lays 100 eggs?
There was once a swimming race between an English cat and a French cat.
The English cat was called One-Two-Three and the French one was called Un-Deux-Trois.
Which cat won?
One-Two-Three, because Un-Deux-Trois quattre cinq!!!
Why did Cinderella get kicked off the football team?
Because she kept running away from the ball!
Why was Cinderella so bad at football?
Because she had a pumpkin for a coach!
What's huge, hairy and goes up and down?
A woolly mammoth in a lift!!!
three silly knights
Why were the early days called dark ages?
Because there were so many knights!!!
What did the fast tomato say to the slow tomato?
You go ahead - I'll ketchup!!
What do you call a camel with three humps?
What did the policeman say to the icicle?
Why did the orange stop?
Because it ran out of juice!!
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn't peeling very well!
Do you want to hear a joke about butter?
Well I can't tell you - you might spread it!
Where does tarzan get his clothes?
From a jungle sale!
What did the baker say when he lost his cake?
It's scone!
Why are the soldiers always tired in April?
Because they had a long March!
Why did the boy bring a pencil to bed?
To draw the curtains!
What did one knife say to the other?
Look sharp, the chef is coming!
How was the Queen able to draw the best straight lines?
Because she was a good ruler!
cartoon sandwich at a sandwich bar
A sandwich walks into a bar...
Barman says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here!"
Two twins walk into a bar...
You would think one of them would have seen it!


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